(Adapted from The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life (Harmony Books, 2014) by Judith Orloff MD
Empathic illnesses are those in which you manifest symptoms that are not your own. Many patients have come to me labeled “agoraphobic” with panic disorders, chronic depression, fatigue, pain, or mysterious ailments that respond only partially to medications or psychotherapy. Some were nearly housebound or ill for years. They’d all say, “I dread being in crowds. Other people’s anger, stress, and pain drain me, and I need a lot of alone time to refuel my energy.” When I took a close history of all these patients I found that they were what I call “physical empaths:” people whose bodies are so porous they absorb the symptoms of others. I relate because I am one. Physical empaths do not have the defenses that others have to screen things out. As a psychiatrist, knowing this significantly changed how I treated these patients. My job became teaching them to center and protect themselves, set healthy boundaries, and let go of energy they picked up from others.
To determine if you are a physical empath take the following quiz.
Quiz: Am I a Physical Empath?
- Have I been labeled as overly sensitive or a hypochondriac?
- Have I ever sat next to someone who seemed nice but suddenly my eyelids got heavy and I felt like taking a nap?
- Do I feel uneasy, tired, or sick in crowds and avoid them?
- Do I feel someone else’s anxiety or physical pain in my body?
- Do I feel exhausted by angry or hostile people?
- Do I run from doctor to doctor for medical tests, but I’m told “You’re fine.”
- Am I chronically tired or have many unexplained symptoms
- Do I frequently feel overwhelmed by the world and want to stay home?
If you answered “yes” to 1-3 questions you are at least part empath. Responding yes to 4 to5 questions indicates you have moderate degree of physical empathy. 6 to 7 “yeses” indicate you have a high degree of empathy. Eight yeses indicate you are a full blown empath.
Discovering that you are an physical empath can be a revelation. Rest assured: You are not crazy. You are not a malingerer or hypochrondriac. You are not imagining things, though your doctor might treat you like a nuisance. You are a sensitive person with a gift that you must develop and successfully manage.
Strategies to Surrender Toxic Energy
Physical empathy doesn’t have to overwhelm you. Now that I can center myself and refrain from taking on other people’s pain, empathy has made my life more compassionate, insightful, and richer. Here are some secrets to thriving as a physical empath that I’ve learned so that it doesn’t take a toll on my health.
A Survival Guide for Empaths: 9 Strategies To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Illness and Pain (from The Ecstasy of Surrender)
Evaluate. First, ask yourself: Is this symptom or emotion mine or someone else’s? It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own or with professional help. If it’s not yours, try to pinpoint the obvious generator.
Move away. When possible, distance yourself by at least twenty feet from the suspected source. See if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don’t hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of “dis-ease” imposing on you.
Know your vulnerable points. Each of us has a body part that is more vulnerable to absorbing others’ stress. Mine is my gut. Scan your body to determine yours. Is it you neck? Do you get sore throats? Headaches? Bladder infections? At the onset of symptoms in these areas, place your palm there and keep sending loving-kindness to that area to soothe discomfort. For longstanding depression or pain, use this method daily to strengthen yourself. It’s comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.
Surrender to your breath. If you suspect you are picking up someone else’s symptoms, concentrate on your breath for a few minutes. This is centering and connects you to your power.
Practice Guerilla Meditation. To counter emotional or physical distress, act fast and meditate for a few minutes. Do this at home, at work, at parties, or conferences. Or, take refuge in the bathroom. If it’s public, close the stall. Meditate there. Calm yourself. Focus on positivity and love.
Set healthy limits and boundaries. Control how much time you spend listening to stressful people, and learn to say “no.” Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.
Visualize protection around you. Visualize an envelope of white light around your entire body. Or with extremely toxic people, visualize a fierce black jaguar patrolling and protecting your energy field against intruders.
Develop X ray vision. The spaces between the vertebrae in your lower back ( lumbar spine) are conducive to eliminating pain from the body. It’s helpful to learn to mindfully direct pain out of these spaces by visualizing it leaving your body. Say goodbye to pain as it blends with the giant energy matrix of life!
Take a bath or shower. A quick way to dissolve stress is to immerse yourself in water. My bath is my sanctuary after a busy day. It washes away everything from bus exhaust to long hours of air travel to pesky symptoms I have taken on from others. Soaking in natural mineral springs divinely purifies all that ails.
Keep practicing these strategies. By protecting yourself and your space, you can create a magical safe bubble around you that nurtures you, while simultaneously driving negative people away.. Don’t panic if you occasionally pick up pain or some other nasty symptom. It happens. With strategies I discuss in my book to surrender other people’s syptos you can have quicker responses to stressful situations. This will make you feel safer, healthier, and your sensitivities can blossom.
Judith Orloff MD is a UCLA psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and NY Times bestselling author. Come celebrate the LA launch of Judith’s new book The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life April 2 7PM The New York Open Center, NY and April 16 7PM Mystic Journeys Book Store, Venice, CA and April 17 7PM at Vromen’s Book store in Pasadena! For more inspiration and Judith’s workshop schedule check out http://www.drjudithorloff.com
Celebrate With Judith on The Ecstasy of Surrender Book Tour (details on www.drjudithorloff.com)
- NEW YOUR CITY April 2, 2014 7PM
- The New York Open Center, New York City
- CHICAGO April 8, 2014 – 7PM The Bodhi Center
- ATLANTA April 13 The Unity North Atlanta Church, AM service, P workshop,
- LOS ANGELES April 16, 2014 7PM Mystic Journey Bookstore, Venice, CA
- April 17 7PM Vromans Bookstore, Pasadena CA
- SAN FRANCISCO April 21 7PM Book Passages Bookstore, April 23, East-West Books in Mountainview, CA
- SEATTLE April 25 7PM 25 Seattle Town Hall, April 27 The Center For Spiritual Living AM Service, PM workshop
- PORTLAND May 5 Unity of Portland. AM service, PM workshop. May 7 7PM Powells Bookstore
- BOULDER AND DENVER. May 7 7PM Boulder Bookstore, May 8 7PM The Tattered Cover, Denver
BIG SUR, CA July 25-27 Esalen Institute, Weekend workshop
The Ecstasy of Surrender
Review by Caroline Myss
The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life (Harmony Books, 2014) is the perfect book to come along at the perfect time!. I couldn’t put it down!
Judith Orloff MD, a UCLA psychiatrist and beloved intuitive healer, masterfully explores how the power of letting go allows you to achieve personal and spiritual freedom. Combining mainstream medicine and beyond, Dr. Orloff blows apart old ideas about heath, aging, sex, power, beauty, and money by showing that surrender is NOT defeat—it is the missing key to true success. She defines surrender as the grace of knowing when to flow with life rather than fighting it or pushing so hard you sabotage yourself.
This daring book is filled with a wealth of practical strategies to help you listen to your intuition more deeply and surrender to the wisdom of your body and the guidance of spirit—even when your ego wants to force things or when you’re overwhelmed by fear. I especially love the section on surrendering in relationships—how to surrender to love and let go of obsessive and “delusional” relationships which stand in the way of love. Also you’ll learn the art of setting boundaries with toxic people and practice the mantra: “no is a complete sentence.” The great miracle of surrender is that you can live in the passionate zone of the heart and gain deep faith in yourself and the divinity of your life. Dr. Orloff writes, “If you’re like me-someone who wants to become everything you were meant to be and more-surrender is a doorway in,” Savor the wisdom and joy that jumps off of the pages. Return to these lessons again and again over a lifetime. Let this book be your friend and companion as you embark on the exciting adventure of surrender.
Check out Dr. Orloff’s TED Talk
About Tony Cecala
Tony is a business strategist. He publishes the Holistic Networker and produces the Wellness Expo. In his spare time he reads about technology and the mind.