Holistic Networker - Page 33 of 35 - Your guide to wellness.

A Titanic Message

Why is James Cameron’s Titanic such a colossal success? I believe that the wizardry behind Cameron’s storytelling is his ability to make us feel deeply about ideas and concepts that we rarely dare to examine. Cameron uses the movie theatre as a modern-day spiritual center, a place where people can experience a deeper sense of their own humanity. In the theatre we sit elbow-to-elbow with several hundred strangers. Together we laugh and cry unashamedly, experiencing an altered state far removed from the mundane world outside the theatre.
It’s a profound coincidence that Titanic was released at a time when so many elements of our fragile civilization seem to be at the breaking point. The world seems to cry out for a savior. Pollution, crime, nuclear armament, plagues, and natural disasters are in the headlines daily. Ironically, sharing these headlines are continual advances in modern technology — faster computers, smart weapons, and new bio-engineered marvels. We are, like Titanic, moving full speed ahead into the darkness, pinning our hopes on technology to carry us along — to save us. Yet, technology cannot save a civilization that has lost touch with the feeling of the essence of life.

In masterfully telling Titanic’s story through the eyes of two young lovers, Jack and Rose, Cameron has struck a chord deep in our collective unconsciousness. In particular, I was moved by his depiction of what it means to be a savior, and what it means to be “saved.”

In telling her story, elderly Rose believed that Jack was her savior and recounts that Jack saved her “in every way a person could be saved.” In the photos of young Rose riding horses and flying airplanes we get a glimpse of the active, full life she lived — a life very different from the self-conscious, inauthentic life her mother wished her to live.

We can look to be saved by another or we can save ourselves. Someone (like Jack) can inspire us by example, but we must decide for ourselves to live an authentic life. Rose’s enlightenment comes in the instant she jumps off the lifeboat to stay with Jack on the sinking ship. In that moment she saves herself and becomes truly free — acting on her free will, unhindered by the burdens of her past, her family, her social status, and her fears.

We can sit in the safety of our personal lifeboats pretending to be alive or we can save ourselves by following our hearts’ desires. When we live inauthentically (to get the approval of others), we are not really living, just acting out a role; a role that becomes stale and predictable. This is not the path of growth. It takes courage to leave the comfortable boundaries of a safe, predictable life, but in daring to follow our hearts we emerge from our two-dimensional roles, remove our masks, and become alive again.

Saving the world is not the job description of a few special people. It’s the calling of each and every person on the planet. Feel the calling of your heart and find the courage to live a life worth living. When each of us becomes awake enough to live authentically from our hearts, we will become our own saviors and shift out of victim consciousness to a place where our actions are Divinely inspired. From this place we can lay the building blocks for an enlightened planetary civilization.

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Power and Empowerment

What is your definition of power? Unfortunately, when the subject of power comes up, the context is often negative: abuse of power, power hungry, etc. The use of power in our civilization has been linked to war, corruption and other atrocities.
Power is neither positive nor negative, it simply is. Consider my favorite definition of power: “the ability to move things around in the physical universe.” We often say that powerful people are known for their ability to “get things moving.” What is their secret?

Successful people throughout time recognize the paradox of power: to wield power, one must give it away — that is — to empower. A simple example of empowerment is the rechargeable battery. By itself, a battery is only a vessel for power. Charge it up and it energizes your cell phone or laptop. Forget to recharge your battery, and it will ultimately fail you.

Microsoft’s Bill Gates understands this paradox. To achieve his goals, Gates hires and empowers the smartest people he can find. He wants only the best for them, and expects only the best. Through the employee stock program, Gates has helped create hundreds of millionaires. When asked about the success of Microsoft, he invariably replies, “We have the smartest people.” By empowering his “smart people,” Gates has risen to the top of his chosen field.

It has often been said that the fastest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Align your goals with the success of others and you create a feedback loop of empowering efforts that propel you to even greater success. Oprah’s Angel Network is aligned with the goal of empowering others. She shows us that by giving from the heart we make others feel better and, in turn, we feel better ourselves. Oprah recently described how a group of volunteers with Habitat for Humanity were able to build a home in only five days!

While an insecure person seeks to discredit or dis-empower other people, a wise person focuses on empowering others in his universe. Create a list of the people (family, friends, colleagues, customers, employees, etc.) that you empower and those that you dis-empower (discredit). You might also create a list of organizations that you empower or discredit (alma mater, professional groups, bank or credit union). Examine your lists and you will discover your own patterns of empowerment or self-sabotage—in other words a snapshot of your current success in life. Determine how you can empower those people and organizations and you hold the secret to getting things moving in your universe.

What are some specific ways to start your empowerment program? You can empower others by teaching or coaching. When you tutor a child, you empower a future generation. You can also empower others simply by finding their good qualities and focusing your attention on them. Appreciation, praise, and encouragement are extremely effective empowerment tools. This is why the really successful companies hold fancy galas to honor their top performers.

There is a lot of talk these days about self-empowerment. Expand your definition of self to include your network or community and all empowerment becomes self-empowerment. As we expand our definition of “community” to the entire planet, we will set into motion the start of an enlightened planetary civilization whose alignment will bring achievements we can only begin to imagine.

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Emotions: good, bad, and ugly?

Have you ever been annoyed because something wasn’t working out in your life? Do you remember how you felt? Did you develop a tightness in your chest, pain in your neck, or even a headache? When you set out to do something in the world, obstacles sometimes arise. How do you deal with obstacles? Do you internalize the annoyance in your body or do you fully experience the sensations and feelings that emerge?

Most of us have been taught to desire good feelings and to resist bad feelings. Well-meaning people tell us, “You’re silly to feel bad. Get over it!” If you observe infants, you’ll find that they have no such judgment about their feelings — they feel and express all their emotions. In doing so, they move from states of pain and frustration to joy and elation in a matter of seconds. It seems completely illogical to parents watching. Yet, why is it logical to expect that pain and frustration must linger?

In order to feel deeply, it helps to remember to breathe. Why do you think Lamaze classes are all about breathing? Scores of seminars and spiritual practices incorporate breathing techniques to help free the body of trapped pain and blocked emotions.

It’s a common idea among those on a spiritual path that one should evolve beyond emotions like anger, fear or rage. Some believe that by overcoming these primal emotions they will have peace in their lives. Actually, when we allow all emotions, we experience life more deeply. The true magic of life becomes available as we open ourselves to whatever comes our way — without resistance.

At December’s Wellness Expo, Doris Helge, Ph.D. shared powerful techniques for experiencing and dissipating emotions. For example, to work out anger, Helge had audience members smash milk cartons with their hands or with a plastic bat. With each slam the participants felt lighter and more at ease. She recommended that executives squeeze a rubber ball or lump of clay to work out frustration. Helge feels many social problems would go away if we would allow ourselves the freedom to safely vent our emotions. Helge’s book, Transforming Pain Into Power (ISBN: 1-885598-88-2) is an excellent resource of transformative exercises for feeling more deeply and experiencing life more fully.

A good way to help others experience their feelings is to listen to them without judgment. In their book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk (ISBN:0-380-57000-9), Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish outline dozens of ways to validate children’s feelings and experiences. I find that the techniques work for people of all ages. When we tell someone not to feel a certain way, we invalidate them and prevent them from living in the moment. When we simply listen to them with neither approval nor disapproval, we share a sacred and tangible reality of uncomparable richness.

The greatest gift you can give someone is to accept them as they are. When you accept another, you honor them as the Creator of their life and create the space for them to change. In this space, miracles happen.

Tony Cecala, Ph.D.
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Higher Purpose

Do you ever wonder about the purpose of life? Why are you here? What would you like to accomplish in this lifetime? Dr. Wayne Dyer, in his book, Real Magic (ISBN: 0-06-109150-2) points out that our personal evolution occurs in three stages. In the first stage, which he calls “enlightenment through suffering”, you feel like a victim. You believe that only through suffering can you achieve. At this stage you feel almost completely powerless. The realities that manifest at this stage are reflections of a mind that feels limited in its scope and power: fears and default beliefs are dominant forces. Dyer notes that some people stay at this stage their whole lives.
Dyer calls the second stage “enlightenment through outcome.” This is the stage of the achiever. This is the person who can maintain enough attention and effort on goals to conceive and achieve them. This is the realm of beings we identify as “successful.” People at this stage feel that if they only work hard enough, then they can achieve their goals. It is a high state of being compared to the first stage. Having surpassed victimhood, you master the art of having exactly what you want. Some people stay at this stage their whole lives. However, this stage is not the pinnacle of human development. Dyer describes a third stage that most of us can only catch a glimpse of.

Dyer calls this third stage of being “enlightenment through purpose.” In this stage, you feel and know your life purpose and life becomes effortless and joyful. Guided by intuition, you experience magic and synchronicity in every day. The satisfaction of personal creature comforts seem relatively unimportant. You desire to serve humanity and your heart opens—life becomes effortless. In this third stage, life becomes larger than your own desires and fantasies. When you align your intention with the purpose of your life you operate from a higher “I” (“higher self”). This “I” is no longer attached to outcomes. From this perspective life is a game to be played deliberately.

You reach this stage when you assume the broader perspective of your higher self. You see the struggles of the world as a limited game that you choose not to play. You reach this stage when your natural response to the struggles of life is appreciation and understanding. In this stage, you see the world without judgment and in doing so feel completely free from its effects. You recognize that you exist apart from it—that you are an eternal spiritual being.

It seems to me that our next evolutionary step is the step beyond achieving to a life of service. For when each of us is serving, we begin to live as enlightened beings whose respect for each other and for all of life creates a civilization where suffering and intolerance no longer predominate.

Both Mother Teresa and Princess Diana showed us we can rise above personal concerns and give from our hearts. As we begin this season of giving, choose to experience the part of you that has a higher purpose. From that place, all the gifts of the universe are yours.

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Creating Time

Do you remember the future scenarios that we imagined back in the 60’s? These sketches usually showed how new gadgets and robot maids would make our lives so much easier in the 21st century. Well, for the most part, the gadgets have arrived. Dishwashers, microwave ovens, the remote control and cell phones have greatly expanded our “leisure time”. Ironically, many of us are working more hours than ever before. The hardworking 19th century farmer worked from dawn to dusk. Yet, with electricity, a modem, and an internet connection it’s possible to work 24 hours a day. Technology has taken the bottlenecks out of so many industrial processes that running a business three shifts a day is no longer a difficult feat, but rather is expected. Business systems that run “24×7” are demanded by a global economy that buzzes along oblivious to natural cycles, geographic boundaries and holidays.
Our goals and values in the past 30 years seem to have changed dramatically. A cover story in Newsweek magazine recently described how two-income families have become the norm. With both parents on a career track the children have had to make due with “quality time”. The article raises the question of whether the myth of quality time has deprived a whole generation of time spent together as a family. In fact, we no longer desire more leisure time, but rather, we crave more work time. Ads for laptops show people working on the beach–a cellular modem ties them directly to the office. Coupled with or perhaps created by our desire to be more productive is the feeling that time is moving more quickly. The pace of technological change has software executives talking of “internet years”. From their perspective a “year” passes every 52 days. One software firm even holds its “annual meeting” every three months.

As with any trend that ripples through the mass consciousness, you can participate or you can choose a different experience. Alternate perspectives of time are held by the indigenous people of the world. The Mayan people experience time in great cycles (“round time”) in contrast to our linear time perspective. The traditions of these cultures vary widely, but common to all is the recognition that the experience of time is our own creation. We can anxiously watch it slip away or we can center ourselves, quiet our mind and experience a timeless stillness. Remember, we exist outside of the tick-tock, time-driven reality that has become transparent to us. We are creating that reality, not being driven by it.

Do you expend so much energy running in “the rat race” that by the evening all you can do is watch the TV? Feel the rhythm of your life. Are you creating your pace or are you being paced by society’s expectation of what you should be doing? If this were the only life you could live, what would you be doing? Are you creating exactly what you’d like to be experiencing? When was the last time you watched a sunset? Enjoyed the beauty of clouds? Looked for shooting stars? Have you chosen to fill your life with experiences that have meaning to you? Does your daily routine represent the highest expression of the greatest idea you have of you? See the book, ReSurfacing®: Techniques for Exploring Consciousness, for exercises that help you take inventory of your life.

Happy exploring!

Tony Cecala, Ph.D.
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Life Review

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Viewpoints

As an infant you come into the world with boundless awareness, you experience everything as “I.” Your integrated consciousness knows and loves everything, even your own feces. Gradually you learn to adopt viewpoints and come to define yourself by the limits of your skin. You distinguish between “I” and “Other.” This dis-integration process continues as you become identified with the viewpoints of your gender, religion, state, country, career, job, etc. These viewpoints filter your perceptions and experiences. As you identify with more defined viewpoints you lose touch with your more expansive awareness of the world. You see less. Colors are less vibrant. You experience the world through many layers of belief filters.
Your ability to process information, make decisions and operate effectively in the world is directly related to your ability to shift viewpoints. Children are taught this ability in kindergarten (“How would you feel if Johnny took your toy?”) We are told that the best way to know another person is to walk a mile in their shoes.

Their are few problems in the world that can’t be improved by a shift in viewpoint. If you find yourself in a situation that feels out of your control, chances are you’ve defined your viewpoint as too small, too restricted. You’ve compressed your own world and limited your ability to step back and create options. When we relax and take a step back from the world we see the forest from the trees. (The word “relax” has its roots in the Latin re-laxare, which means “to widen back.”)

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Allowing

Have you ever wished that someone else could be different? Do you sometimes know what’s best for them and that everything would be better if only that person would change? Well, it happens to all of us. We get an idea of how the world should be and we impose this viewpoint on anyone who will listen. (This is especially apparent in election years.)
When we interact with others, we engage in a co-creative process: we share viewpoints, desires, and goals. Friendships arise out of a shared set of viewpoints: we feel comfortable with people who think the same way that we do. Our agreement brings a shared sense of comfort (we think to ourselves–this person validates me”). Yet, viewpoints can be the basis for bitter animosity when people adopt opposing viewpoints.

How do we enjoy the benefits of having others in the world when many of them don’t share our beliefs? It’s simply a matter of remembering that we ourselves are changing every moment–that our own beliefs can change in a second and so can another’s. Maybe you’ve changed political parties in your lifetime, or changed your taste in music, or changed your allegiance to a sport’s team. I can remember listening to music that my parents hated. I couldn’t imagine that they didn’t appreciate it. Now, I find myself stuck in a musical time warp; my favorite music has shifted to the “oldies” radio station.

Physicists tell us that the world is an absurd and irrational place. In fact, they tell us that the world doesn’t exist at all. Physicists have discovered that reality is dependent upon the existence of an observer. No observer, no reality–just a potential. We can no longer speak of one world, but of an infinite number of worlds, each manifesting from the viewpoint of an individual. What does this mean for you and me? We can only change our experience of the world. Are you having a good day? It really is YOUR day. You can invite another to share your viewpoint; “Hey, great day, isn’t it?”, but in the end, each of us decides the kind of day we’d like to have.

In allowing others to hold their own beliefs and opinions, we give ourselves the freedom to feel or believe anyway that we wish. The opinions of others matter not at all. For you to be happy requires only your own decision. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy, sad, decisive, creative, or simply to BE. The viewpoints of another can never affect you.

When we remember that another person is not the sum of their beliefs and viewpoints, but like ourselves, is a divine Source of viewpoints, we can appreciate the variety that the world holds. In that appreciation, we recover the feeling of the essence of life–that feeling of being in the present moment when everything can change in the blink of an eye, or the flap of a butterfly’s wing.

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Honesty

Have you ever met a completely honest person? What would that person even be like? A completely honest person would communicate exactly what they’re experiencing—their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fantasies. If this level of intimacy sounds frightening to you, then you’re in good company. All of us have thoughts and feelings we judge inappropriate and not in keeping with the image we project. We judge these thoughts as too ugly to accept, let alone reveal. We deny these creations and hide them from others. In her book, Mutant Message Downunder, Marlo Morgan describes her honesty training with the Real People of the Australian Outback. The Real People had her express every thought in her head on every subject, especially taboo subjects, until she became clear, open, and emptyÑno secrets. With this clarity came her ability to telepathically communicate with them.
We too can achieve spectacular gains in self-awareness by simply telling the truth about our lives, our thoughts, and our feelings. The rewards for doing so are dramatic and immediate. When telling the truth we experience an immediate release of body tension, an increase in clarity of mind, and a perceptible feeling of well-being. These points bear repeating: when telling the truth we experience (1) an immediate release of body tension, (2) an increase in clarity of mind, and (3) a perceptible feeling of well-being. Telling the truth is a simple prescription for physical, mental and spiritual health.

Being honest requires that we remember who we are. You see, each of us are extraordinary actors; we play many roles in the story we call our life. It is these roles that we often see on tombstones: “loving parent”, “faithful spouse”, “brave soldier”. Like a good actor, we lose ourselves in our roles and any behavior that is out of character is carefully hidden or lied about. We fabricate, conceal, and withhold routinely to protect our roles that we project to the world. We rationalize our blatant lying. We convince ourselves that the lied-to person cannot handle the truth or some other such nonsense. In truth, our own fear of disapproval compels us to lie. We fear that our role has been undermined, we fear that people won’t approve of us when we are out of character. We feel compelled to have a coherent story to tell: a past that fits within society’s expectations, a present that is busy with activity, and a future that will make everyone proud of us. When we remember that we are playing a role and that we can change that role, we become free to live in the moment. A sincere person, comfortable playing any role, does not assert that they ARE that role. They remember that they exist outside of the role and the play; they remember that they’re writing the story. Seeking not to please or manipulate, but rather to live, the sincere person radiates clarity and integrity—wholeness.

The first practical step towards wholeness is to forgive ourselves for thoughts and actions we’ve hidden from the world. When we accept all our thoughts, feelings, and actions we begin to integrate them. Behind our facades lies our real self—the innocent, vulnerable “I” that we were as infants. The “I” that could calmly look another person in the eye with love and appreciation.

Integrity (wholeness) is not about living up to some high moral standards. It’s about being real about our humanness. By fully accepting all of ourselves—the evil thoughts, the perverted fantasies, and the ugly feelings—we drop the barriers that keep us separate. Handling secrets and denied creations requires courage. Yet, by accepting and expressing our secrets we open ourselves to the rich, alive experience of integration with ourselves, others, and the world.

P.S. Inspiration for these thoughts comes from my own 30+ years of lying, Dr. Brad Blanton’s book Radical Honesty (ISBN# 0-440-50754-5), and the entire series of Avatar® courses

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker

Competition and Cooperation

How do you measure success? We all recognize success when we see it. Our culture projects thousands of images of successful living in the media and in the arts. These images become standards for what we desire to be, to do, and to have.
I feel that society’s focus on success has bred a competitive spirit that translates into a shark-fest, win/lose mentality. Fortunately, there is a new paradigm in business, science, and technology that recognizes the interconnectedness among all of us on the planet. In this new model, cooperation rather than competition, is the operating principle.

Evolutionary biologists are discovering that “survival of the fittest” is a myth. Most species have interconnected relationships among dozens of other species. (In fact, our bodies are thoroughly populated with bacteria and viruses that actually make it possible for us to live). Social scientists have found that in games with the potential for several winners, participants will spontaneously cooperate in order to achieve greater gains. The end of the US-Soviet nuclear arms race is an example of this principle. It benefitted both sides to end the buildup.

The advertisers listed in this issue are a part of an interconnected network that we call the holistic community. It’s our pleasure to connect you with this community and we look forward to hearing about your success.

Tony Cecala,
Publisher, The Holistic Networker